Thinking Ahead: Lifelong launches Musical Memories Café 

Toes were tapping and there were smiles all around on March 18 when Lifelong in Ithaca launched a new program, Musical Memories Café, at neighboring residential building Library Place. John Simon, a local guitar player and singer, took the stage, accompanied by Der Walters on the pedal steel guitar. They played a variety of classic songs perfect for singing along to, such as “This Land is Your Land.”

Bruce Henderson, of Ithaca, attended the event with his husband, Daryl Bem. Henderson requested “Puff the Magic Dragon,” and Simon and Walters happily obliged.

“My husband has had Alzheimer’s for a few years,” Henderson said. “He was a Cornell professor for many years and still maintains the ability to play piano. Music is something he still enjoys.”

Henderson said Bem retains much of his knowledge and awareness from his academic career. “It’s his short-term memory that’s harder for him, so I’m particularly grateful to the musicians for picking songs that are familiar to people in the crowd, and even if they’re not singing along, my guess is that it’s evoking emotions and memories — hopefully happy ones.”

The program is funded by a grant from Health Foundation for Western and Central New York, and entry and lunch are free of charge.

Bill Panzica brought plenty of pizza for the attendees, donated by Eta Pie. He said he was happy to serve up lunch at the first of many Musical Memory events Lifelong plans to host on the third Tuesday of every other month. Panzica and his wife, Carolyn Panzica, are the founders of Musical Memories. “My wife had an idea to start an Alzheimer’s and dementia program,” Panzica said. “She’s basically the mover and shaker of the whole thing.”

“We had lunch, and games, and we thought, ‘we need to bring music into this,’ so we did, and the program grew tremendously,” Panzica explained.  “There seems to be some attraction to the melodic flow and attachment to words. Smells are powerful, and music is, also. It captures a place in your memory, and you can’t quite define why it is so powerful. I’ve been in the medical field for 40 years, and I can’t explain it.”

People would come in who didn’t remember their own name, but they knew all of the words to the songs that were playing, said Panzica, who recalled one man who could walk physically but would not stand because of his dementia. He would enter the event in a wheelchair, dance with his wife, and when the music was over someone would set him back down in his chair again.

The Musical Memories program is currently responsible for serving more than 20,000 free lunches featuring over 170 musical acts.

Panzica said he enjoyed being at Lifelong’s first installment of the event. “It’s started off great,” he said.

“One of the great things about the first event is that we had someone who started this program who was able to be with us to walk us through the types of music and simplifying the food, and the focus was just on people enjoying themselves in an atmosphere of inclusion and support, and I think we pulled that off,” said Liza Burger, executive director of Lifelong.

Panzica said the program works best when the musicians play songs that the attendees likely recognize from their younger years.

The outings Musical Memories provides are as much for caregivers as they are for those they are caring for. Taking care of someone with dementia or Alzheimer’s can be especially taxing for spouses, Panzica said.

“They have such a challenging life because they’re with someone that they love for half a century, and they see them slowly float away from them,” Panzica said. “We thought we wanted to do something for the caregivers to come out and have fun, and it means a lot to people.”

Henderson said he liked attending the event with his husband. “It’s nice to see other people there, too,” he said, “and you feel less alone.” He attends a caregiver support group, and he said he enjoyed seeing caregivers he recognized outside of the normal group setting.

“It’s nice to see caregivers and the people whom they care for,” he said. “It gives a more complete sense of the family and the whole relationship.”

Laura Winter Falk attended the event with her mother, who lives at Bridges Cornell Heights, a senior assisted living facility. One of Falk’s favorite ways to spend time with her is to take her to concerts.

“I like to have every opportunity to get her out that I can, and she likes music, and it’s perfect,” Falk said. “My mom has dementia, so one of the things she’s still perfect at is that she knows every word to every song from the ‘40s.”

The next Musical Memories Café will take place May 20 from 12:30 to 2 p.m. at Library Place, where Charlie Young will provide the live music.

“I’m in the process of making a set list that will be upbeat, and I hope it will be mostly familiar,” Young said. “I’ll be playing songs from the 1920s through the 2000s — an eclectic mix, with swing, pop, a show tune or two, country, folk, and folk-rock — something for everybody.”

Those who attend are asked to park in the front or back parking lot of Lifelong and enter Library Place community room through the Cayuga Street entrance.

Those who are interested in attending or volunteering at the event are asked to contact Susan Weiner at sweiner@tclifelong.org or (607) 273-1511.

For more about Musical Memories Café, visit musicalmemoriescafe.org.