Sarah Gowin: Go the distance for Hospicare

Many of us knew and loved DG Bancroft-Gowin, who taught us international folk dances at the Senior Citizens Center originally beside McGraw House on Seneca Street and then at Lifelong. Or we knew DG from the Corner Book Store or Logos, or as a Public Health Nurse. DG had many friends and many fans. She was beautiful, generous, and wry.

When our family first saw Sarah folk dancing, it was like seeing a young version of DG. Both so fluid and graceful and fun. And soon we were attending concerts where Sarah played piano.

Over the years Sarah has been the piano instructor to many children, teens, and their parents. We attended her concerts where we admired the work of her students of all ages, and the pieces that Sarah played.

Just as Sarah was beginning to retire from teaching, her beloved mother began to grow frail. And in January 2023 Sarah and DG were introduced to our invaluable Hospicare, a local treasure. 

Sarah: “We discovered that Hospicare had so much to offer to our mother, but also to the entire family. …Once we enlisted Hospicare, we received welcoming calls from their social worker, their spiritual chaplain, their nurse, the director of their volunteers and others. Everyone was so welcoming, describing the many ways Hospicare could help us during this unfamiliar stage in our mother’s life as it grew to the end.”

“DG wanted to live out the last months of her life in her beautiful room at Bridges Cornell Heights, and Hospicare helped her be as comfortable as possible without moving elsewhere. Their wonderful social worker counseled us that facing the end of one’s life can make brave people fearful, and when our always brave mother did become fearful, the medical staff could prescribe some gentle medication to lessen that anxiety.”

“The medical director of  Hospicare told us about pre-bereavement services that Hospicare offers to the family of a loved one in their last chapter of life. She also said that when a loved one dies, the family may request counseling to help them navigate the loss of someone who played a special role in the survivors’ lives.”

“My Hospicare grief counselor also spoke with me about planning for after DG’s life ended. Did we plan to have a service? I told her my brothers and I were not planning to have a service, and we discussed that. She said hosting a service might be important to us, and to the people outside the family who knew and loved DG…We did arrange a service and many people who knew and loved DG at different periods in her life came and spoke. People who attended said they were moved to hear about different chapters in DG’s life…Looking back, the service and gathering was part of our healing process.”

“One year after my mother died I signed up to become a volunteer with Hospicare. The training was powerful, and I felt strengthened by all that I learned at the 6 three-hour sessions. It was useful and valuable and I enrolled in additional Bereavement training.”

“Hospicare’s Bereavement Team stays in touch with families for 13 months, if a family which has lost a loved one wants to have contact. The Bereavement Team can assist the grieving family arrange individual counseling and/or join group counseling if they prefer. There are also special groups for the loss of a spouse and other general grief support groups. And if a family does not want further contact at any point, that is respected.”

“For the past ten months I have been making calls to people who are bereaved, at 3, 6, 9 and 12 months after the death of their loved one. Many people say that Hospicare’s support is helpful as they navigate through their changed lives.”

“All the services Hospicare offers, including their outstanding doctor’s supervision, plus medical equipment like hospital beds, wheelchairs, walkers, as well as counseling, nursing, aides are all available regardless of the family’s ability to pay. Hospice care is paid for by Medicare, Medicaid, and most private insurers. To ensure that every patient and family receives compassionate, comprehensive care, regardless of financial ability, the support of Go The Distance/Women Swimmin’ helps close funding gaps and keeps these important services available to all who need them.”

Sarah decided that since she is not one of the 325 brave women swimming 1.2 miles across Cayuga Lake on Aug. 9, to raise money for Hospicare, that she would instead GO THE DISTANCE.

“‘GO THE DISTANCE-Women Swimmin’ for Hospicare’ has evolved into a community event that will take place from now until Aug. 9. This year’s goal is to raise over $650,000 to support Hospicare’s work in our community. Hospicare brings medical expertise and compassionate care to all of us in Tompkins and Cortland counties who are facing the end of life. They also provide support, comfort, and guidance for their family members. The money raised allows Hospicare to provide bereavement services to patients’ family members and others who are grieving a loss.”

Sarah: “There are so many ways that we can demonstrate how much we value having Hospicare in our community. I will send a note to family and friends and ask them if they are able to make a donation. I am going to bake goodies for the residents of Hospicare and for their families who keep them company and for the hard working Hospicare staff. And I will play the piano at Hospicare…Anyone can participate in Go The Distance by doing any activity.

“By sharing the news of ways we can help Hospicare, plus asking our family and friends to send contributions to Hospicare that means so much to us, we can help Hospicare gather the resources to be available to more of us…Hospicare helped us make our mother, DG’s last chapter the best it could be. We could not have done that without Hospicare.”    

For more information about how you can GO THE DISTANCE, contact Dana Havas: dhavas@hospicare.org. Or go to WomenSwimmin.org